God's primary goal is for each of us to become Christ-like or shaped into the image of Christ.
Romans 8:29 – "For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren." (lead others to Christ)
Ephesians 5:21-32 (review scripture)
A husband is supposed to be an example of what it means to be Christ-like. He is to lead his wife in the ways of the Lord. Wives are to follow the leading of their husbands just as the church should follow the leading of Christ.
If God's purpose for each of our lives is for us to become more like Christ, what better tool could he use than the marriage relationship? Who better for God to use to chisel you than the person who you live with 7 days a week?
So, you can look at marriage as being a spotlight that exposes our faults, weaknesses, and imperfections. It can be difficult to be confronted with these things but it is necessary for us to become more like Christ. How can we change something that we might not be aware of?
Satan knows this and that is why he works so hard to destroy our marriages.
He has been doing this since the very 1st marriage with Adam & Eve. 1 Peter 5:8
But we don't have to let him destroy our marriages.
We need to allow God to use your spouse to build his values, attitudes, morals, and character within us.
The Bible teaches that God builds certain qualities within our lives by putting us into situations that make it difficult to show these qualities. In other words, for God to teach you real love, he'll put you in situations where it is difficult to show love. In order to teach you patience, he will put you in situations that will test your patience and teach you to trust him.
If you look at it that way, you will see that your marriage is like a laboratory for learning how to love like Jesus loves. In order for that to happen we must become completely selfless just as Jesus was.
Marriage is a life-long process designed to teach you to see the needs of another person as more important than your own.
Contrary to what a lot of people believe, marriage is not about getting our romantic and emotional needs met. It is about us meeting the needs of our spouse.
My dad has always told me, "Love is a Verb." Through the years, I have learned how true that really is.
So, to evaluate our personal success in our marriage, instead of asking ourselves, "Are my needs being met?", we need to ask ourselves, "Am I demonstrating the image and character of Jesus Christ?"
Philippians 2:2-5
"2Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 4Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. 5Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:"
Colossians 3:10-14
"10And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: 11Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all. 12Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 14And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things."
Charity = Love
Suffereth long – patiently endures wrongs or difficulties without complaint
Is Kind – is charitable, compassionate, considerate, thoughtful, warm-hearted, helpful
Envieth not – is not jealous, does not look at with malice or in an evil manner
Vaunteth not itself – does not boast or brag
Is not Puffed Up – is not arrogant or proud
Does not behave Unseemly – does not behave inappropriately, is not rude
Seeketh not her own – is unselfish, does not insist on its own way
Is not easily provoked – is slow to anger, controls temper
Thinketh no evil – keeps no record of wrongs, is not resentful
Rejoiceth not in iniquity – takes no pleasure in wrongdoing
Rejoiceth in the truth – takes pleasure in the truth, sincerity, and integrity
Beareth all things – protects, does not expose the faults of others
Believeth all things – is not distrusting or suspicious, doesn't jump to conclusions
Hopeth all things – is hopeful, optimistic
Endureth all things – is persistent, doesn't give up
1 John 4:7-12
"7Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 9In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. 12No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us."
Through all of these scriptures we can see how important it is for us to show love to one another. God commands it. That's how important it is to him.
But why is it that a lot of people can be kind, considerate, compassionate, and treat others with respect but when they come home all of that goes out the window?
I think people get so comfortable in their marriage that they just quit trying. Maybe because it seems like too much work or they feel like they don't have to try anymore.
Think back to the beginning of your relationship with your spouse. How did you treat them back then? Were you always going out of your way to show them how much you loved them? Do you still treat them the same way as you did back then? If not, you should. Just because your married doesn't mean you can stop trying to "woo" your spouse. That is something that Justin and I have learned and it takes a conscious effort to do the things we need to do to make one another feel loved but it is definitely worth it.
We all have a deep, God given desire to feel loved and respected so let's make it a point to do all that we can to fulfill that desire for our husbands/wives by becoming more like Christ each and every day.
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