The Importance of Prayer in a Marriage

When You Don't Have a Prayer

Written by Stephen Kendrick

This article is courtesy of HomeLife.

When my wife, Jill, and I started dating, I told her I had set aside physical affection in order to guard our hearts. "But," I said, "every time we pray together, I'd like to hold your hand." She looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and said, "Let's pray!"

Seven great years of marriage later, prayer is still one of the most uniting factors in our relationship. But that's just the starting point. Prayer does exponentially more for a marriage than you can imagine.

Prayer Empowers
God uniquely tied marriage to prayer. In 1 Peter 3:7, we learn that a man's prayer life is hindered if he's mistreating and dishonoring his wife. Are you bitter with your spouse? Mark 11:25 implies that mountain-moving prayers are blocked by an unwillingness to forgive. And when a couple ties the knot, Scripture reveals that God has joined them together (Matt. 19:4-6). But as a wedding gift, God also gives each spouse a prayer partner for life.

When a husband and wife pray together, they usher the presence of God into their marriage in a special way. His presence brings the love, joy, and peace that we all need residing in our imperfect homes.

Prayer Impacts
Is your spouse imperfect? Have you noticed some things the love of your life needs to work on? Good! Husbands and wives have the front-row view of the skeletons in their mate's closet — your marriage conveniently unloading your spouse's baggage into your life. Ever wondered why God gives you overwhelming insight into his or her hidden faults? For endless nagging? No, for effective kneeling. No one knows better how to pray for your spouse than you. Fault-finding is not for criticism; it's for intercession.

Have you chosen to nag your spouse rather than pray for him or her? How's that working for you? Nagging can never change a heart. Talk to God instead. It's much more effective; God can handle any issue and actually encourages you to place the problem in His hands (Luke 18:1-8).

My wife knows she changes my heart through prayer more than any other way, especially nagging. Nagging is counterproductive. Proverbs 25:24 says, "Better to live on the corner of the roof than in a house shared with a nagging wife." Instead, a wise husband will find a quiet corner of the house and use it as a place to pray for his wife. Try it! Turn your complaints into prayers and watch God work.

Prayer Unites
Many marriages consist of two people who have become enemies. Consider this: It's hard to hate someone you're praying for. Your heart simply won't allow it. It's also hard to sling mud on a person who is praying for you. Does your marriage break out in all-out combat on a consistent basis? Try bombing your battles with prayer instead of anger. It brings amazingly effective peace talks to the conflict.

But don't just pray for your imperfect spouse before or after the battle. Pray with him or her during the battle. It's hard to launch scud missiles when you're on your knees praying for each other.

Just imagine the scene: Lord Jesus, we've gathered together now to pray so we don't hurt each other. We're both fighting mad right now and need your help. I pray now for my wife, whom I love dearly. Give her the grace to forgive me, the patience to put up with me, and the wisdom to understand me. Help me to deal with my anger and misunderstanding of her needs and feelings. Unite our hearts and speak peace to our storm right now. You have joined us as one; help us know what to do. (It may seem awkward at first but remember, a spiritual battle is fought in prayer [Eph. 6:10-18]. I dare you to try this.)

Scripture says prayer is a fragrant incense to God (Rev. 5:8). It's pleasing to Him and ushers couples into His presence. But have you noticed that God also has blessed prayer with an amazing ability to draw hearts together? Hearing your spouse pray for your needs, for protection, and for God's blessings over your life is an intimate experience.

I feel so in love with my wife after I've spent time praying with her. When God joins your hands in marriage, He also wants to join your hands in prayer. Don't fail to open God's most precious wedding gift.